Friday, June 6, 2014

The Birth of Gavin Ray

 

  Yesterday Jesse, Alice and baby Gavin came to spend the day with us so that we could plan and spend time with the baby, and so that his great grandmother could see him for the very first time!


 While they were here though, little Gavin caught my eye as he stared wide eyed at the world around him. He was watching us all very closely. And it occurred to me suddenly that he was not just staring, but observing.
 

   I recalled to mind all the articles I've ever read about how much babies learn from there surroundings during the first few years of their lives. All that they absorb, it is the beginning of creating who they are, who they will one day be.
 

 Right after this thought occurred to me I felt a pang of guilt and my heart sank. How many things had I done, how many things had all of us done just in this one week since he was born? How much wrong has he learned from me already?

 There is so much potential, so much hope, so much goodness in his little heart. And I do not want to be responsible for ruining it. 


  And then I realize that I'm not good enough for this job. Because I know that since I mean the world to his parents, I'll mean the world to him; or at the very least have a huge impact on his life. But I know I'm not good enough. I know the evil that constantly pulls at me: inclinations to selfishness, hard heartedness, a weak will power when temptations come. And so many times I fail: I give in, I think of myself first, I speak harshly, I let opportunities to make myself and those around me better just walk on by as I wave at them. I am not good enough.

 So why has God bestowed upon me and my loved ones this great responsibility? When already I know I'm not good enough to handle other responsibilities in my life, let alone have a hand in raising a child?

 For one reason... because we are not good enough, and He is making us better. He knows that through Him, we can be enough.

  I spoke to Jesse and Alice briefly about how I was feeling, because apart from everything else they do, they're also two of my main "go to" people when I am struggling. Because I don't know if I'll ever understand the depth of compassion they have for people and family, but I would like to have it too. I told Jesse that I didn't feel like I was good enough and reassuringly he said, "Everything will be alright." And I don't know how, but I know it's true.
  We will fail, we will give in, we will speak harshly, we will fall short. But by God's grace we will ask for forgiveness, learn from our mistakes and move on. And we must remember that there will be times when we don't fail, when we speak sweetly, when we will love fully and when we will let God use us to teach Gavin the lessons He has to teach.
 

                                               We are not good enough, but He is.






 

                                                                         <3

Maybe I'm being slightly mellow dramatic? But this is the first time I've ever had a nephew! And it turns out that it's a huge responsibility meant to be taken seriously.
 Although you've seen plenty of these already, here are some more pictures of Gavin and family. ;) (Sorry for the blurriness in some of the pics. )






  Both grandmothers looking on anxiously in the background of this one. ;) It's the first grandbaby either of them have had.




                                                                                First diaper change.


 
 Alice was beyond happy almost directly after giving birth, ( I don't think I've ever seen her so happy! ) and she's taken to being a mother so naturally. I can already see how Jesse is going to be an excellent father, and he's happier then I've ever seen him too. It's funny how a baby does that to you. ;)











   The first "Wright" that has been born in nearly eleven years, quite a milestone for us. Thank you to everyone who has been praying and please continue to do so. We are more than grateful for this little guy and all the promise he brings.



Here is a link to Alice's blog about Gavin if you'd like to see even more! ;) http://thewrightfamilyfarm.blogspot.com/2014/06/gavin-is-here-or-little-man-as-we-call.html